We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
