did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
