either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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