omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
