Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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