It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
