Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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