Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
