I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
