you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
