I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They took my balls.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
