Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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