at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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