Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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