whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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