Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
