So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
