Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize