and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I have fence marks all over my body
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
