Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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