I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
