batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
