Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We have so much sex to catch up on
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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