i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
