he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
