The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
