I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
