I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
