My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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