Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
