We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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