Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
