I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
