You just made me feel so damn special
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
