I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
