okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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