when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
