garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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