You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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