Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
