I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
