he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
