I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just found a bag of teeth...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
