fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
