i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
