one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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