I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
