There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
