Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
