I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
