hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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